I do not know the sudden huge surge of appetite in me. practically i feel hungry every second and my guilty conscience is killing me. i do not wish to become like my old self where i indulged myself with food, food and food that caused me to be a slob of 78kg. can you imagine i bought a levis jean for my aunt's wedding of waist 38? i aint joking and i remember the times where i forced myself to regurgitate and starved myself every alternate day. those days were nightmares and also the reason why i am so concern over my diet which could be consequential and dire.

i need to balance out the needs to maintain my diet and energy to survive in army. i really have a strong dislikes towards rice and pork and i really cant force myself to gorge them down even i need the carbohydrates and fats in them to work out. it is also scientifically proven that as you skip meals or force yourself to eat lesser than usual, your appetite shrink and feel bloated even easier.

why do people grow fat and unhealthy easier than slimming down and stay lean and fit? why do people born with defects and do not have access to proper sanitation and basic necessities while others do? why do people born to be genius while others have to slog their guts out and then realize they still lose out? and why do people have an easier life in army but not me? all these callous reality is a test of our motivation, determination and perserverance to survive any ordeal. have some faith in urself and things will eventually work out smoothly. at least thats what i believe in.

God has imbued us with the ability to speak in thousand languages and communicating, ability to hear the voice of our loved ones and the gust of the winds, vision to see the wondrous of the world and the vast yet splendid skies, ability to taste the delicious delicacies and differertiating the 5 tastebuds, ability to smell the magnificent of chemistry and the peaceful air that surrounds us, and lastly the ability to touch. it always amazed me and i think it is the most beautiful thing on earth that is indescridable.

as i age and proceed on with my life, i start to look even ahead and occassionally think back the mistakes i made in life. i start to appreciate my surrounding, especially my loved ones and be satisfied for the things i have with me now. i realize how lucky i am and i thank you God for that.

my life is as boring as ever because army is what i perpetually deemed as boring. i was rushing for my driving ftt on wed which had expired and now i need to make a decision on private or school! argh.. chiong driving ah!! Just finished reading Survival of the sickest and i pick up a book introduced by my aunt; Today Matters, next probably i will go to Bible lol As you can see how boring my life is now Haha..IT fair in March coming soon ah!! Should i get a camera for my aunt as a form of appreciative? She seems interested in the Sony's cameras..shes very frugal and should i get ipod touch? seems exorbitant, eh? aiya sum1 go wif me and gif me advices.. :)

下一站, 辛福, anyone?

im a free thinker, by the way. :)

11:53 AM